Love is the most powerful force on the planet. Love is described in many ways, but what is love to you?
When most people think of love it conjures warm fuzzy feelings, butterflies in the belly, or pain from loves lost. Most people interpret love as a strong affection for something or someone.
I have no interest in trying to pin down a text book definition of love, myself. But, I would like to explore some concepts about what love should be.
Love Is Selfless
We have all heard the expression, “If we love someone, let them go and if they come back it was meant to be.” This is only partially right. Love in its purest form is given freely.
It is a gift of caring and concern for others, that should not be lain upon them with the expectation of return. We must understand that anticipating a return of love for giving it, is selfish in its own right.
Parents in particular may understand this very easily. Your child is loved by you, just because. There are no criteria that the child needs to meet, and you won’t stop loving them no matter how they may feel about you.
Unconditional love is shared freely within a family unit. So why, outside of these parameters do we find it so difficult to love our fellow man.
The love we have for those in our lives, should never rely on reciprocity. It should come from organically from the place within ourselves, where love abides in such abundance, that it must be shared.
There Is No Wrong In Loving Another Person
After a heart break of sorts, we often found ourselves regretting putting our time and energy into the individual that has hurt us. Understand this, there is no fault in loving someone. Ever.
You give your love to someone, and they don’t return or accept it. It happens. That is why it is important to understand that loving is a personal choice.
No one can give you consent to love them or not, otherwise heartbreak would hardly exist.
If you share the love that grows in your heart with another, you must accept that this person owes you no debt of gratitude. You give your love because you want to lavish your love upon them, with or without the same in return.
Relationships may fail, and that’s OK. Appreciate it for what it was, a learning experience. You have been an enhancement to your loved one’s life, and that is never wrong.
Be mindful of the life lessons that you learn when loving someone. Heart ache and pain, are necessary for us to truly appreciate the brighter side of life.
Love Never Dies
Genuine love never dies. Loved one’s that have crossed over to the other side are a prime example of this. When the death of someone we love occurs, the love that we have for them remains with us always.
In the event of a break up, some of us find it hard to move on because we still love the other person. Through no fault of your own, we have all been conditioned to think this way.
We are fed fairly tales from a young age about finding our Prince/Princess, falling madly in love, then living happily ever after. Life, unfortunately, is rarely this simple.
Understand that love in itself is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship. Things like respect, honesty, patience, and understanding are also necessary for two people to grow and flourish in any relationship.
In some cases the love is there, but either one or both of the parties in the relationship are too damaged or ill-equipped to love one another the right way.
Self love is important, and recognizing when its time to let go is too.
When the love is still there, we often feel as if there is hope for better days ahead. If you are involved with someone that is draining you mentally, spiritually, or being physically abusive learn that loving them does not obligate you to that person.
Be true to yourself first, and love that person from a distance.
Love Is Not Always Fireworks And Fanfare
We watch so many movies, that society as a whole has unrealistic expectations of love.
Outside of that initial burst of butterflies and orchestra music that comes with new-found love, the reality of life creeps in. We start to notice the idiosyncrasies of our partners and may no longer see them in the same light.
This is when learning to love properly matters most. Unconditional love is a self-explanatory expression.
It literally means that you love someone without regard to any expectations that this person must meet. Some things that we may perceive as a “fault” in our partners, may even be complimentary to our own growth.
Try to view your differences as an opportunity to gain understanding, as opposed to a negative trait. If you love someone and are invested in them, when you see room for improvement in that individual, do not belittle them.
Instead, encourage them to modify negative behaviors and support them on their journey of self-improvement.
After all, love in its purest form causes us to grow, flourish, and reach our full potential.
We All Need To Love And Be Loved
Most important of all we must learn to truly love ourselves first. Forgiveness is not just for others. Often times, we need to forgive ourselves for poor choices that we have made.
View yourself as a new creation daily. A beautiful creation that is loving, compassionate, and worthy of forgiveness for mistakes of the past. Know that every day is an opportunity to be a better you than the day before.
Smile more, you never know who may need the warmth that only a genuine smile can offer. Laugh more, for your health and that of those around you. Love more, without reason or demand.
It’s the little things in life that matter. Help an elderly person put their groceries in the car. Hold open the door for strangers.
There are endless ways to show love to our fellow man.
Do you part to spread positivity. Share the love freely my friends! And as always, Happy Healing!